Zod and Drea, LLC

Black students in class

Sorry, but I Don’t Want My Son Raised In The United States – Daddy Blog #07

I’ve been traveling abroad since I was 16 years old. Thanks to parents who ensured culture, history, and the desire to learn more was implemented into my life, I had a privileged upbringing. This was by design on my parent’s part and I recognized it early on when visiting my cousins and family members who grew up in harder parts of the United States – particularly where my parents grew up. They had a plan to gain the education and expose their children to as much of the world as posssible.

Black man studying in europe
Black student in Europe

Learning about other cultures

So, I took advantage of the lessons taught by my parents and explored Germany, France, Austria, Switzerland, Sweden, Italy, England, Canada, Caribbean Islands and more – many, multiple times. I saw a difference in those places. How I was treated, their educational systems, the preserved history, and how many rebounded from turbulent histories and recognized atrocities they wouldn’t otherwise want repeated.

There will always be racism all over the world and my next goals is to visit African nations, particularly Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, Egypt, and Ghana. I’d do a disservice to myself and my son if I bypassed where life’s history began and where my ancestors on the West Coast of the continent likely came from 400 years ago. To experience places where I would have such an unlikeliness of experiencing racism would be divine! The protections I have for my son at this point has been magnified over the last nine months. So, let me explain why I feel the United States isn’t the place to raise Lorenzo.

Lesson learned for myself

Since visiting Germany back in the late 80’s, I came back different. I had only spent 3 weeks there, met a life-long, wonderful friend who lived across the street, and nothing was the same. At one point during our friendship, she allowed me to tag along with her to her high school. I was flabbergasted at what they were studying. I was 3 years older and was about to go to college in the fall. What she was studying seemed like American college level. On top of that, these students were all fluent in English already. Science, chemistry, languages,..but on higher levels. I took notice and was only 18 years old at the time.

Black man studying in europe
Black man studying abroad

The kids there were excited to meet “The American”. Not “the Black guy” like I was used to in the States. But they saw my experience as different because of where I was from, not who I was. I was able to let my guard down for a little bit and not be defined by my race first. It was refreshing considering all of these kids were White. I still kept a little cautious but nothing like when I was home. This allowed me to explore more. I noticed their crime rate was lower than ours. The people were friendlier. The food was fresh daily and few things were microwaved first.

As I grew up, I was able to assess things differently from different countries. So, fast forward to today. Ironically, during our visit to Europe togetheropens in a new window for the first time, Drea and I conceived Lorenzo in Paris. What better place to conceive a child than in the City of Lights? At the same time, the yellow-vest protestsopens in a new window occurred. This violent protest happened the next day so we would time how many weeks Lorenzo was in utero on the weekends the protests would occur. As far as I know, they still happen in smaller waves but consistent each weekend. That alone, the desire for people to protest every week for an issue shows how dedicated they are to a mission. Here, in the USA, a terrible tweet from Trump’s account has a 24-hour news cycle and interest.

Yellow vest protests
Yellow vest protestors in Paris

But even during those protests, the police largely kept their cool despite being tossed rocks, fire tossed at them, and more. They didn’t fire first and collect bodies later. They kept their cool. Here, in the United States, a gathering of Black people is almost considered a terrorist threat. Trump’s supporters are trying to establish Black Lives Matter on the Terrorist Watch Listopens in a new window despite them never organizing to kill anyone – only to bring awareness to police violence. The president is the number two enemy toward Black people after police. And that terrifies me. Not for me, but for my son!

Police Killings

Police killings in the United States are off the charts compared to any other industrialized country. Participation is voluntary by the police department so even the numbers registeredopens in a new window are probably lowered. This is all caused to the accessibility each American citizen has to guns. An estimation in 2017 says civilian-owned firearms in the US was 120.5 per 100 residentsopens in a new window. There are more guns than people in the Unites States. With that, comes death and violence. My current home city, Phoenix, Arizona is now the deadliest city when it comes to police shootings. There were 44 police-involved shootings in 2018opens in a new window. This is where my son, a Black and Mexican boy, is supposed to be raised?

Consider this: According to the Washington Post database of police shootings, there had been 390 people killed by police as of June 11 of this year! That is 390 funerals and families affected. Police don’t have anything to fear since they investigate themselves mostly and are entwined into the legal system that protects them. Since 2005, 98 police officers had been arrested and only 35 convicted. And Black men are disproportionately shot by police. Harvard studies in 2018opens in a new window showed Black men aged between 15 and 34 were nine and 16 times more likely to be killed by police than any other group. How unsettling is that? Not only to be a Black American but to raise one? It’s extremely distressing how I could be losing my son to a killer who feels he’s protected regardless of the outcome. And it’s proven he is.

Mass shooters run amok

Victims of the Garlic Festival shooting
Victims of the Gilroy Garlic Festival in California

Besides killer cops, this nation, which proudly totes it’s gun use has a mass-shooting problem. In this last week alone, there have been three large ones and the reasons vary but some are extremely troubling! The Gilroy Garlic Festivalopens in a new window in California was about relaxing with family, buying up garlic, and listening to music. Instead, 19-year old Santino William Legan took it upon himself to show up with an AK-47 type weapon and kill three peopleopens in a new window and wound 12 others. But it hits harder when you see the people struck down included 6-year old Stephen Romero and 13-year old Keyla Salazar. These two children just wanted to enjoy family time and our open-gun policies allowed a psycho to kill them along with 25-year old Trevor Irby.

A few days later, in El Paso, TX, another White supremacist terrorist feels the need to kill people. 21-year old Patrick Crusius killed 22 peopleopens in a new window and wounded 20 others at or near a Walmart. Before killing, Crusius, a Trump supporter, posted up a manifesto speaking of a “Hispanic invasion of Texas” and how it warned of White people being replaced by foreignersopens in a new window. His motivation was inspired by hatred – very similar to Trump’s speeches and views of migrants coming from south of the border. Why would I want my son exposed to this terror and largely ignored threat of White men needing to feel big as their demographic is shrinking? Lorenzo would be a walking target for his entire life. No parent would want that for their child!

Dayton Ohio Police
Photo by TOM RUSSO/EPA-EFE/ShutterstockPolice officers at the crime scene in Dayton, Ohio, USA, 04 August 2019 following the mass shooting in the Oregon district of Dayton.

A few hours later, in Dayton, OH, Connor Betts, a 24-year old man shot and killed nine unsuspecting people and injured 26. Yet another White terroristopens in a new window shooting people. The signs were there as he wrote a hit-list in high school at some point of people he wanted to shoot from bullying. But his access to rapid-killing firearms was easy enough to do it considering the inaction by right-winged politicians who value their guns more than human lives. So, what do you think they’d care about my Black/Brown son? Not a damn thing! So, what’s the allure of raising a child in the United States?

Trump being his racist self

Our healthcare system is terribleopens in a new window compared to other developed countries and we pay more than most. Our police shoot disproportionately at Black men. Our president hates Latinosopens in a new window and is an overall racistopen window. His supportersopens in a new window are worse since they’re listening to him and actively killing people or berating them for speaking anything other than Englishopens in a new window

What about my own?

And let’s get honest about the crime upon ourselves. It’s a Right-side/Republican automatic response about “Black-on-Black” crime when questioning the historic brutalization upon other people by White men and women. And crime within each racial demographic is always higher due to most people encountering people within their own groupsopens in a new window. That’s just nature and let’s face it, White Republicans don’t care about Black people killing themselves. But after all we’ve endured by the hands of White slaveowners, politicians, laws, and more, why is there such little unity and so much killing within our Black surroundings.

You always hear of the victim of a violent crime being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Innocent victims of gun violence due to irrational people accessing firearms and the assailant having horrible aim always results in so many many more families grieving.

What’s the upside of living in the US?

Why would I want my son raised in the United States? What’s the benefit? Drea wants him here because of family and I understand that wholeheartedly. I know the value of being near family, your culture, and a support system that will do anything to protect him. I love that! But for me, the reality is he currently has a target on his back by a future cop out there who is probably in 5th grade at the moment hanging out with his parents as they watch Fox News analysis during a Donald Trump rally.

Graph of Expensive healthcare worldwide

This is a dangerous world but I’d love to reduce that risk as much as possible so Lorenzo can speak three languages fluently, know his history, visit countries related to his upbringing, have great healthcareopens in a new window and education at little to no extra costopens in a new window, and world experience to build a better future safely and away from indoctrinated White terror cells. The alternative is too scary to think about and too many parents out there have lived it. Physically removing ourselves from the danger would give Lorenzo a better chance to survive and thrive.